A relationship expert has responded to a poignant reader letter highlighting the emotional dangers of premarital intimacy testing, drawing from both personal testimony and psychological insight. The discussion emerged after a female reader recounted her traumatic experience with a former fiancé who insisted on testing sexual compatibility before marriage.
The woman described how she reluctantly acquiesced to her ex-fiancé’s demands, subsequently became pregnant, and was abandoned when he declared them ‘incompatible.’ The situation escalated into personal devastation and community scandal, particularly when he married another woman. Though she eventually found love and marriage herself, the memory resurfaced painfully upon reading a similar contemporary query.
The counselor acknowledged that men proposing such ‘tests’ often demonstrate selfishness and poor judgment while failing to comprehend the profound emotional consequences. However, he cautioned against blanket characterizations of all men as ‘users,’ noting the complex social pressures men face regarding sexual expectations. Peer pressure from friends and family—often expressed through mocking commentary—can create significant dilemma for men choosing abstinence.
Additionally, women may inadvertently contribute to this dynamic by questioning a man’s devotion or health if he doesn’t initiate sexual activity. The counselor cited Dr. Myles Munroe’s observation that sexual drive represents humanity’s most powerful biological force, frequently compelling unwise decisions as evidenced by high-profile cases like Jeffrey Epstein and Harvey Weinstein.
Globally, statistics indicate an average of nine sexual partners per individual according to World Population Review data, highlighting widespread promiscuity challenges. The emotional, physical, financial, and spiritual consequences can be devastating without proper desire management.
The expert referenced biblical wisdom from Romans 7:15, where Apostle Paul describes the human struggle between intention and action, ultimately finding strength through spiritual conviction. The counselor advised the reader to pursue forgiveness, recognize her gained wisdom, and appreciate her current life including her child. He offered continued support through convenient online sessions, praying for her emotional healing and liberation from past trauma.
Readers seeking guidance may contact Reverend Christopher Brodber via The Counsellor’s Couch column at the Jamaica Observer.